Academic study at school needs ( requires the full attention from children.) children’s undivided attentions,however,(即使是however, 也不能连接前后都是完整的句子，所以however,之前的逗号要改成分号或者句号). many of them find it is not easy to focus on class. To the best of my knowledge,this phenomenon may be attributable to too many distractions (这句话答非所问啊，this phenomenon maybe attributed by those classes which lack of creation.) and course’s lack of creation. 注意however 这个语法，不能够连接前后都是完整的句子。只有But 和and 是可以连接前后完整的句子的，因为只有他们2个是连接词，其余是副词。

With respect to various kinds of distractions, they may bea（there must be vital factors that …首句不要出现they,因为没有指代） vital factor that affects children’s concentration.（最好中心句直接写出关键词的：electronic devices and mobile phones,在中心句写好后的人物就是要充分展开这2个词） Nowadays, with the booming of high-technology, many students bring electronic devices to school. However, these handy devices, such as ipad and mobile phone, not only provide them with the convenience to check study resources, but also attract（ distract them ） their attentions to surfing on the Internet or chatting online while taking a class. In addition to electronic devices, irrelative book ( extra-curricular books are …) novels and magazines is also a distraction. Children who lack the ability of self-control may easily be distracted in class by the plot of a romantic novel or detective fiction they read last night. Therefore, distraction is probably an answer to this problem.(这个结构是没有问题的，但是观点并没有展开啊，因为是问“distraction” 的原因是什么。)