题目：More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, cars and other items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

With an increasing number of salaries (这个表达不地道，没有“随着什么什么的薪水的数量”的增加）, people have more money, （有没有感觉整句话是废话，是多余的）， with increased incomes , people have more choices on shopping, especially some famous brands products.which could be spent on shopping,especially some famous bands commodities. Some objectors (不要造词) point out that people focusing on the famous brands poses some adverse impacts on the development of society（不要动不动就对于社会发展有负面作用，这样讲话内容太大，对于本题目的观点没有贡献，也破坏了整体的连贯度）;however, I stand on the other side. （你站在相反方面，内容太模糊，需要写明确一些）

It is true that the majority of luxury brands are so expensive that many blue-collar even white-collar workers cannot afford them. （这个中心句是无效的，因为本题是问你：“大量的人购买奢侈品”的优点和缺点，而你回答的这个点的内容是和题目无关的过程。记住：中心句要直接回答作文题目的答案的概括。比如：Admittedly, many blue-collar and white-collar employees who purchase luxury goods would affect their normal life as the income they earned cannot afford 这样写中心句才是直接回答这个作文题的）。 Sometimes spending too much on famous brands may also cause the unrealistic comparison, （不要随便造词组组合） even the impulsive consumption among the consumers. However, the famous brand(s), which represents the social prestige and status to some extent, will raise the confidence of owner. In addition, wearing luxury clothes or driving excellent cars are also (要增加also 这样的递进词）beneficial to business negotiation under most circumstances.Hence purchasing these famous brands is positive development.（这样的话，只是重复观点，对于题目的展开没有意义，如果要写总结的话，建议写成相反的方面的总结，其本质是为了进一步展开观点的。)It is easy to understand that those people who never bought any luxury goods including clothing, cars and luggage would be more difficult to lobby others as their would-be partners ,especially in business , take seriously about that.

The advantage(s)  of buying these famous brands could not be ignored. For one thing, there is no doubt that these brands are famous for their excellent quality. What is more, some goods are produced on a limited number so the demand runs over supply (可以增加并列句，是加分项) . For another, consuming on these famous brands will bring growth to local economy and tourism industry as well（写出这样的话，讲究注定考不到6分了，首先是非常Chinglish，growth 是生物的生长，所以搭配有问题。另外突然写到当地经济和旅游业，观点太跳跃，考官难以捉摸，典型的中国式跳跃思维，破坏了CC）. Take the Hong Kong for example. （逗号）Most tourists go to Hong Kong for shopping, and Hong Kong could get more than twenty billion dollars only from income of luxury commodities. Therefore these famous brands are worthy. 

Based on the analysis above, we can prove that buying famous brands is not only beneficial to consumers but also to the development of economy. （结尾要写批判性思维的逻辑递进的作文分数才会比较高）。although …// in spite of //,另外不要动不动就推动社会经济发展，写这样的话肯定TR 不超过6分。

总体：1，TR 比较空洞 5.5分 2， 语法基本可以，（注意冠词）。6.5分。 3， 词汇： 多处Chinglish的词组问题，很不地道。不要冒险去写不地道的词组。（5.5分） 4， CC： 逻辑很跳跃，完全不连贯。只是表面上有几个连接词而已。(5分)  总分是5.5分。